There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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