Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
