they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
