guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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