you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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