Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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