Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I forgot wine drunk hurts
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
