I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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