he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize