Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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