woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
