drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
So many bounce houses so little time
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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