Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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