dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
