Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
