Nicole vs. Life
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
