I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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