I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
