i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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