the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
stop calling my apartment porn island.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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