i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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