none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
