STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
