You smell like stripper and shame
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
