Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
