Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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