My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
