Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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