can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
