who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
