ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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