you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
