Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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