Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
sex in a hospital.. check
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
