I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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