omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
