She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
