just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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