I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
