I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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