i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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