I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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