the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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