is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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