history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
