come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
