So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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