oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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