so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Text me some of your sweat
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
