Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize