he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
