i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
The feeling are messing with the penis
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize