I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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