where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
