dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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