making cat noises will not fix the situation.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
