Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
