Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
