I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
