wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
She bit a glass in half.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
