How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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